Dear John Dear,

I have a few problems, all of them have to do with my ex-boyfriend. I really can't deal with him anymore! Right after we broke up he started dating this really trashy girl ( I say girl because there is no way, that she is over 20) I know he did it just to hurt me. Then he had the gull to date my best friend. I saw them at a restaurant and when I confronted him on how that will affect me and my friends relationship. He blew me off! (Every time that she dates one of my ex's it's impossible for us to get together and she starts to talk their sides when I talk about them.) What can I do about him? Should I date one of his friends or should I just try to sit down and talk with him?

Please help,
Distressed-Ex


Dear Distressed-Ex,

Wait, What? I'm sorry I think I must have misread your letter? Okay, I have a question for you. What does anything your Ex-boyfriend have to do with you? He's your Ex after all. Both he and yourself can date whoever you want. If he wants to get in trouble with jail-bate then that's his problem. You know better than to get yourself into that kind of trouble.
What you don't know better is how to choose your friends. From your letter I get the impression that your best friend has dated your ex's before? Well given her the benefit of the doubt and let's say that she had no hand in making your boyfriends add the ex prefix. She then turned her back on you by choosing your ex over you. Then after she left you, she chooses to undermined you by calling you a friend and not at least seeing your point of view on a man that you know at least a few facts about.
You shouldn't have a problem with your ex he had his chance with you. Where your focus should be and who you should sit down and talk with is your "so-called friend." It's her that has wronged you.
She very well might not know that she has been doing it like you haven't seen how her actions have hurt you. So go into this easily, but if she starts to get defensive then it's a good chance that she did this not only knowing the how it would affect you but also does it because she knows how it will hurt you.
Leave the ex where he belongs, In the past. Just keep your eyes open and try to take in all the facts next time.

Good luck with your friend,
John Dear


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