Dear John Dear,

I find myself in quite a situation. I've been with my boyfriend of almost 4 years now and I've always been happy with our relationship I've been checked out by other guys, but I've never had any interest in them, I'll be polite and say hello and stuff like that, but I've never looked at any
of them as anything more than a friend. We recently moved and I was transferred to a new store.
Upon my arrival at this new store I felt a little out of place at first, but I quickly overcame that once my manager started kidding around with me and telling me jokes to make me feel more welcome and I get along with everyone there perfectly. So what is my dilemma you ask??? I wouldn't be writing you if I didn't have an issue that I needed advice on, now would I? I found out my manager (The one who made me feel so welcome) has the HOTS for me, and by hots I mean he definitely wants to be more than friends. I can handle that, with the exception of two things, I really do love my boyfriend more than anything in the world, I'd never do anything to hurt him, and number two is he's married with one kid and a baby due any time now. Here's my issue. He will flirt with me at work, now he's never touched me and I don't mind the flirting, but I find myself becoming more and more attracted to him. How can we hang out as just friends without my boyfriend or his wife getting mad, or even when he obviously wants more than a friendship and I find him more and more attractive as each day goes by. Another issue is our jobs, I mean I don't want either one of us to lose our jobs, and I'm concerned if things keep going the way they are it's possible we could both lose our jobs. I don't want to lose him as a friend because he is a great guy, and He and I have so much in common so we always have a lot to talk about.

Please help me John Dear, you're my only hope!!!

Questioning Commitment

Well Questioning, you really don't have a problem. Unless your engauged with you boyfriend, then it's not really an affair. On the other hand your boss has all the problems your lacking. He has a wife, kids, and your his employee who he supervises. Not only would he be having an affair if you two hooked up but he would also be taking advantage of his place of power and as you said you both could lose your jobs. Or what is more than likely this relationship would get out around your work and just cause waves in your new found social circle. People might alienate you because your the bosses toy, or they might resent you for runing a "good marriage" Althought if you ask me any man capiable of commiting addultry is not in a good marriage.
Maybe your just seeing things that aren't really there, you said he would joke with you to make you more comfortable with your new job. Maybe he is just guilty of being a flirt, how do you know that he would like to take this to the new level? Has he said something? If he has then to answer your question about you two being friends then that would be impossible he has already made the ladder jump
and with that it is up to you whether the jump was successful or if he fell into the abyss. That means that there is always going to be sexual tension between you two and it's just a matter of time before you slip and fall on his penis. You said at the beginning that you never even look at any other guys for four years, are you considering this your reward for being a good girlfriend all that time? Just one new fling and then it's back to four years of faithfulness?
If your so afraid to lose him as a friend then DON'T FUCK HIM, nothing kills a friendship more than an orgasm, and if you don't want to lose your boyfriend then don't be friends with your boss.

So to put it very succinct if you don't want to hurt your boyfriend then cut your ties with your boss and start giving him the cold shoulder. If you don't mind hurting your boyfriend go ahead. I'm not going to say it's alright to cheat, or to cheat with a coworker. That's your own can of worms, but my advice is to just keep it strictly business.

John Dear