Sad, But True! (The Movie)

Well Ive started to write my own story, Don't worry its full of shit, and none of it will be true. So wanting to sell out with the buyers are hot, I want to let you all know who I would want to play my Pep's in a movie if it were cast today!!!

( I will either cast someone based on personality, former acting credit, or looks ' Or maybe a mixture of em all' These people are not perfect but I think they will do their parts justice.)

First to be Cast:

Of course Me...
( Me on the Left, and Ryan Reynolds on Right)

Of course Ryan 'Fucking' Reynolds, Shit who else would I cast as myself, who else in the current acting world is as funny, charming, quick witted, and lets just face it down right Damn Good Looking. To play me, I know what your saying, " DNB Your so handsome and dreamy why don't you play yourself in this 'sure to be blockbuster' that you are currently tapping as a gold mine?"
Well valued and spot on reader you would be right in assuming that the bank is where you can take this if I were to sign on as a cast member myself. The only problem I want my movie to be taken as a serious and damn near religious experience for those who are lucky to be part of my record smashing opening weekend ( I will open Friday at 12:01 AM because as we have learned in the couple years Friday is a Weekend too now) Now for some written direction so you, humble & brilliant, reader will know what to expect from this acting star on the rise.
Most of you know Ryan (I can call him Ryan, because this is my deluded universe we are playin' in now right) From his classic hits on the silver screen such as Van Wilder, Waiting..., Smoking Aces, Just Friends, and Amityville Horror. Now these are great and wonderful movies, and even though he will have to tap into the sexuality that is often used in these wonderious works of art on film(excluding the near pedifilia in Waiting...) Because that is in fact the base of the DNB Character, but Mr. Reynolds (I now call him Mr. Reynolds cause I'm nasty) Will also have to tap his former characters of the good friend that will never take advantage of you in Just Friends (unless you pass out then I might rub your boobies), The social connections of the Van Wilder character, and the smoking ripped abs showcased in Amityville Horror. Although I will be looking for a different kind of humor than showcased within all the film listed earlier(although Amityville Horror will come close) but I will be looking for the, Laugh in the face of danger, dry wit, quick one-liners Of the still smokingly ripped character of Blade Trinity (I mean the Name Tag; "Hello My name is: Fuck You" I would totally do that) But enough about me, and my 'fitting' Actorial talent... Unless you want more... No... You don't want more right now?... Okay fine Ill move on... Unless you want me to... Okay Ill just come back to it later...

Next:

The Girlfriend:













(Girlfriend Left, Janeane Gorofalo Right)

Now both my Girlfriend and I have agreed that there is no one else on earth that will be able to play her, with her combination of dry wit (that we all have come to know and love when we hear J G's name) and near spot on looks I don't think there is a more perfect person for the job, In fact some nights I'm really not sure which one I'm going to bed with. It could be one could be the other, I really don't know. For all of you that know both Janeane and My GF will testify that they are nearly twin sisters. I would be willing to put up hard cash (of someone elses) that a blood test will show that they are not really sisters but the same person leading a double life.

The Father:












(Father Pictured Left J.K. Simmons Pictured Right)

As you can see its nearly a spot on match when it comes to the looks department... I mean if JK would simply grow out a mustache and wear a simple wig I think it... would be... Nearly perfect... Okay I'm a terrible son and I don't have a photo of my Father, but trust me when I say that JK Simmons depiction of J.J. Jameson in the Spider-Man Trilogy is nearly spot on. The facial hair, lines, expression, and eyes are a perfect match. I have always heard that I look exactally like my Father and I can see that even in JK Simmons (I am thinking about testing this very fact with DNA Testing and see if my new daddy will be willing to share some of his Fat Movie Checks till mine comes through) Really the only difference between the two would be the hair, my dads is a more 80's version of my own, and a lack of glasses.

The Sister:


(Sister Photo Left, Alicia Silverstone Right)

She will always be my Baby Sissa, and thats how I will always see her, but despite my best efforts she is growing into a woman... No! Not Alicia Silverstone, my Sister, I really can't think of anyone who would be able to pull off the sweet little girl that I remember and see in my childhood, and still pull of the bright and beautiful woman that she has became like Alicia. My sister use to, and probably still, live in the Clueless universe. Throwing 'Likes', Whatevers!, Sporting the best fashion, covered in pink from room to car, Showing a little too much skin (in my opinion, Hugh Hefner would say not enough) and always being a daddies girl. This is what I fondly remember from my childhood days.

My Mother: Has yet to be cast, I have given it thought and I need to cast my family perfectly and I cant think of a single one to do her justice quite yet, but Im sure to have it by the time I post "Sad, But True! (The Movie) Pt 2 Back with KY."

The RoomMate:











(RoomMate shooting pool, Jack Black Pillow Talkin)

I mean... Holy shit, Look at em, No this isn't another trick like with My Father, That is a picture of my Roomie and a separate photo of Jack Black. Now they are not only matching in physical appearance but in attitude and physical affectations. There is only one actor out there that would be willing to do the kinda physical humor that my Roomie would be capable. But also the best way to describe my Roomie would be to call him a sexually deviant teddy bear that you want to throttle and hug at the same time, he will try to hump you and get you a cookie, he will rub your feet but with his penis... and so on, In fact if I cant get Jack Black, or Him to play himself, then I would have to cast a Creepy Teddy Bear... If you have seen a Jack Black Movie then you know My Roomie, but a little creepier, It was a scary time falling asleep with him in the next room/under my bed...

Well that's the cast for right now, Here in the next week Im going to cast the rest of the "key" Players, I hope you enjoyed as usual and until next time,

Im,
Doughnutbro